When you go to the theatre to see a live show
There is another show happening you just don’t know
It’s performed in the changing room and in both wings
Actors getting up to all sorts of things
One in the corner sitting peacefully and calm
Anther checking make-up and putting on lip balm
One scrolling through the script while drinking Thai tea
Another one zoning getting ready for you and me
The play begins and a whisper can’t be heard
In the dressing room they are sharing lemon curd
A diva struts off and complains she heard someone walking
She demands quiet and definitely no talking
First half over and fifteen minutes to relax
A socialist starts the conversation, thoughts on bedroom tax
A side door is opened and a few go for a smoke
One is on Facebook deciding who to poke
The second half commences with the usual crash
In the wings an actor shows his terrible rash
He tells all he uses cream on a daily basis
While listening to songs by the band Oasis
A phone call is made from the side of the stage
The director sees it and flies in to a rage
He proclaims the actor is finished after this
The actor replies the job he won’t miss
Lights to blackout and the curtain finally down
Actors’ sadness is shown by the expected frown
The changing room filled with costumes and props
A visit from someone’s ma and pops
Final goodbyes and a promise of a call
Unbelievable highs and the inevitable fall
The wings quiet and the theatre now empty
The drinks flow and there will be plenty
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