Helen the Hairdresser

A dead end job, stuck in a rut

Dreaming of the day she could cut

Resigned from her stress free job

Coloured her hair, put it in a bob

 

Attended a collage once a week

Learning how to colour and streak

Started in a Salon on a Saturday

Working too hard, very little pay

 

Progressed to working full time

On the ladder she is about to climb

Two years later things still going well

Spiking lads hair with wax, not gel

 

A decision is made; she goes out on her own

Working too many hours, but mustn’t moan

Happy that she is cutting and blowing

This opportunity she won’t be throwing!

We beat the champions - Football Team

We pay our subs

Each week on time

We’ve all warmed up

That’s certainly not a crime

The manager’s mistakes

He made a few

We’ve had our final chat and instructions

see the job through

 

We beat the champions, my friends

And we kept on playing till the end

We beat the champions

We beat the champions

No time for kickers

‘Cause we beat the champions, of the league

 

We scored three good goals

And passed the ball well

We attacked with pace and skill and

Helped each other in defence

 

Their team they fell

 

But it’s been a long hard season

Too many draws

We stood up to the challenge and made every tackle count

And didn’t have any brawls

 

We beat the champions, my friends

And we kept on playing till the end

We beat the champions

We beat the champions

No time for kickers

‘Cause we beat the champions, of the league

To scared to ask the question

To scared to ask the question

To frightened to know the answer

To shy to look into your eyes

 

Don’t know why my heart beats faster

Don’t know why you’re on my mind

Don’t know why we can’t be together

 

How will this work out?

How will you know how I feel?

How will I show my love?

 

Can we go on separate?

Can we join are lives?

Can we be as one?

The Supply Teacher

The phone rings at an unusual hour

I turn over feeling a little bit sour

Do I answer, or in bed do I stay?

I pick up the receiver, “Hello” I say

 

They tell me I’m in a school very far

I tell them no problems I’ve got a car

I jump out of bed and get ready quick

I best slow down as I feel a bit sick

 

My journey begins, rush hour traffic

The driver behind, a little bit manic

I take a wrong turn that won’t do

A six point turn is something new

 

I arrive at the school as fresh as can be

The office take a look and say ‘we’ll see’

Head teacher walks out with a crooked smile

Knowing that the class ahead is rather vile

 

I walk the corridor heading for doom

I must think positive get out of this gloom

The school has colourful displays on the wall

Is this the calm before the fall?

 

I enter the room and am greeted with silence

I don’t think the class has any violence

The head teacher says her final farewell

Suddenly the room is filled by the class from hell!

 

The class begin to jump up and down

I look at them with my sturdy frown

It makes a couple of them sit and listen

Some of these kids will end up in a prison!

 

I get through the day without a shout

Looking forward to my next challenging bout

Some say thanks on their way home

Manners are great, I begin to groan

 

Another day over and money in the bank

I felt like the Titanic except that sank!

Teaching can be a misconception

But please don’t send me back into reception!

Dating Game

The dating game can be tricky

With my look I can’t be picky

I meet a girl, she is rather nice

But with my luck she won’t look twice

 

Shall I ask her for her number?

The response I often wonder

The day comes, it’s now or never

This could change my life forever

 

To my amazement she agrees

We go out and I pay the fees

She looks fantastic walking in

I smile to her a cheesy grin

 

The night continues with success

Surely I can’t make this a mess

A peck on the cheek ends the night

The future, well it looks so bright!

 

The second date is the next day

Where will this date end, who can say?

We walk along the stony beach

Our hands just slightly out of reach

 

Saying our goodbyes once again

Our hearts dry in this pouring rain

On holiday for the next few days

We communicate many different ways

 

She has returned but not in touch

Who would have thought she meant so much

I hope the phone rings very soon

If it does I’ll jump to the moon

 

This can’t be a thing of the past

I definitely hope this one lasts

Now as I type this ending line

 

I hope the lady will be mine

The Alcoholic

I curl up in the corner, waiting for the signs

My Mum, she peeps just one more time through the dark blue blinds

She sees a surly character staggering up the road

His fist is tightly clenched, ready to unload

 

I can hear the rusty gate latch, sharply becoming undone

I cower into my corner, knowing there’s no fun

Mum asks him quite quickly, how he’s been tonight

While I watch him anxiously, knowing I’m in his sight

 

His swaying brings him finally, to the bottom of the stairs

I know that when I next look up, he will be there

My eyes they shut real tightly as I begin to cry

One question flashing through my head- why me, oh why, oh why?

 

The door it opens slowly with an almighty creek

My future it would seem is becoming so very bleak

The belt is off in a flash and I see he’s ready to hit

Nervously I decide to stand ready to submit

 

His strike’s so solid, an almighty sound

I lose my footing, fall back to the ground

Another swing at my bloody leg

My hands clasped tightly, I begin to beg

 

The pain and the fear won’t go away

I pray to the lord for happiness some day

I wake up suddenly with a scream

Knowing that this time was only a dream

Spanish Eyes

I’m sitting here wondering what to do

Shall I take the risk for you?

 

Without a doubt you got me crazy

Needing to run but feeling lazy

 

My stomach twisting and turning into a knot

Already loving the friendship I’ve got

 

I need to know how you feel

Because for me this is all too real

 

Wanting you to give me a look to say

Come on over and here you’ll stay

 

Hope this doesn’t crash and burn

Walking towards me you suddenly turn

 

This night could be the beginning of the end

Waiting for the call to be your boyfriend

 

If this situation I have read wrong

Then for me the road is again too long

 

You told me today you couldn’t say no

But to this question I really don’t know

 

If you say yes I will be greatly shocked

For my love is no longer hopelessly blocked

 

Listening silently as my joyful heart cries

To look once more into your Spanish eyes

Circuits Eye of the Tiger

Lock the door, get in my car

Driving down, goin’ circuits

Body pumping, not travelling too far

Meet the group, just wanting to survive

 

Sophie arrives, music is playing

You start your running for warm-ups

Out of breath and forget what you’re saying

You keep going or you just might die!

 

Chorus:

 

It’s the sore body after, it’s the feeling of doubt

When your body just won’t go any further

You get the inspiration from the people about

Wishing you can get through all the session, and go home

 

Start the plank, back is so straight

Feeling good, staying focused

Running shuttles hoping to lose this weight

Trying to hide all this pain inside

 

Chorus

 

Next are squats, bending your leg

Breathing hard, feeling tired

Hands together, maybe should start to beg

Just five more and then I have survived

 

Chorus

Penny Lane Liverpool City

In Concert Square there is a bar on every corner

Each one ready to offer you cheap drinks with a smile

And the cocktail list is endless

Leave you in a mess

 

On one side there is a tramp holding a whisky jar

Drinkers walk past him as though he is not really there

He asks for little change for some tea

This wasn’t to be…

Could be me

 

Concert Square is such a sight both day and night

There people argue and maybe fight

I watch, and meanwhile back

 

In Concert Square there are some ladies wearing high heels

Linking arms struggling to walk down the cobbles

Dressing up and putting on fake tan

They look like a man

 

Concert Square is such a sight both day and night

There people argue and maybe fight

I watch, and meanwhile back

 

There are some lads dressed up as superman for a stag do

And catching eyes of all the girls that go on by

Looking good and chat up lines worth a try

Girls all say goodbye

 

At one end of the square the local police are on standby

Trying not to stand out in fluorescent jackets

Then the tramp stands straight up and shouts

The girls that pass by

Start to cry

 

Concert Square is such a sight both day and night

There people argue and maybe fight

I watch, and meanwhile back

Concert Square is such a sight both day and night

There people argue and maybe fight

Concert Square

Greatest Show on Earth

Life is the greatest show on earth

With many a hero and a villain

You and me in the cast

This is one show we know won’t last

 

The curtain is up on a brand new day

Smiling faces and we’re on our way

A plot forever twisting and turning

Love in the heart that eternally is burning

 

Act one ends with the usual applause

Ending with an illness, a fight, a cause

Act two begins and we look much older

The nights are dark, the winters colder

 

A dead end job we actually dislike

We all wish we could just get on our bike

The difference between your show and mine

Knowing you’ve had a partner in crime

 

Someone to support, share and hold

While I sit in a room alone and cold

The curtain is soon coming down

My smile has turned into a frown

My Way School

And now the end is near

The staff worked hard and had no fear

The kids they did alright

Level 6 in SATs, didn’t give them a fright

Presents exchanged in Secret Santa

Lead to fun and lots of banter

But more, much more than this we did it the head;s way

 

New Year, and a new start

Friends came close some drifted apart

Curriculum teams, we had a few

All thinking of things that we could do

We planned to raise some money

We ran around the field, it was so funny

And more, much more than this we did it the head;s way

 

 

Yes there were times, Ofsted were due

But no one panicked, well only a few

They came in and saw all that they could

They left recognising that we were good

We all cheered, nothing feared and did it the head’s way

 

The summer Olympics came up so fast

Lots of rain, it shouldn’t last

We got soaked, we carried on

The children’s smiles shone on and on

 

Oh yes, oh yes, all us, we did it the head’s way

 

For this is our school, we do our best

Having some fun while passing the test

Educating all that pass through our doors

A creative ethos on both of the floors

 

The report shows, the learning flows and did it the head’s way

 

Yes it was the head’s way

Maria

Seeing you tonight brought back a loving feeling

I felt so tall I could touch the ceiling

We spoke briefly, I kissed your cheek

My lonely heart never felt so week

 

I remember the night we said our goodbye

I remember that night you made me cry

I remember thinking I’ll regret this decision

You were premier league I was 2^nd division

 

I shouldn’t do it but no girls compare

From your perfect figure to your beautiful hair

Not sure if I’ll ever see you again

My tears covered by the pouring rain

 

The years have passed and we’ve changed our life

You have your husband while I search for a wife

No one can take my happy memories away

I store them in my mind for my darkest day

Holiday Blues

Returning home I have the holiday blues

So here I am with my thoughts and news

I look around and one have become two

Only me as one so what’s new

 

People don’t know how alone I can be

They only see what they want to see

Friends wanting a joke or two

Close friends, there are only a few

 

My barriers built a long time ago

My feelings never wanting to let go

Keeping everyone at a safe distance

Reminiscing over that missed chance

 

At times I cry myself to sleep

Trying not to count endless sheep

Another day another face

Counting down to get out of this place

 

Telling jokes friends have often clapped

But inside I feel so very trapped

I’ve been on many many a date

They all say the same ‘Just want to be a mate’

 

Apparently I’m too nice a guy

Something I really just don’t buy

So the search continues on and on

Hoping to find that special someone

Dream

I dream of being on stage that people come and see

I dream of hearing laughter, they’re all laughing at me

I dream of making my parents so very very proud

I dream of them both smiling in another sell out crowd

I dream of being on tele and having my own show

I dream of people coming over just to say hello

I dream of generating jokes and more and more laughter

I dream of an EMMY and winning my first BAFTA

I dream of love, friendship and my companion for life

I dream of a special relationship with my ever beautiful wife

I dream that all this can one day come true

I dream all this would be nothing, nothing without you